THE SHOW THAT SAVED ME

by Lindariel

I am not engaging in hyperbole when I say that our beloved Beauty and the Beast series quite literally saved my spirit. When the series first aired in 1987, I was still struggling to put my life back together after finally managing to safely extricate myself from a mentally and emotionally abusive marriage. Thank goodness I had the sense to get out before he became physically abusive, because the signs were clearly there – throwing things, slamming doors, visibly struggling to keep from raising his hand against me.

Fortunately, I had a friend who had a room to spare in her home.  I managed to keep my job, even though I “disappeared” for two weeks after leaving my boss a note about my difficult situation. Several months later, I landed a role in a regional musical theatre production that proved to be wildly successful, running for 18 months instead of just three months over that first summer. And even though my ex-husband contested the divorce, I had a great attorney who didn’t leave him any room to maneuver. It took almost two years, but finally I had signed divorce papers that consigned my abuser to the past and even returned my maiden name to me.

But hard-won legal freedom was one thing. Feeling free was quite another, especially since my ex stalked me for quite a while. He worked in the same building I did, fortunately on a different floor, and he’d show up at church, sitting in a front pew so he could easily glare at me up in the choir loft next to the altar.  He even came to see my show and had the gall to come back to the green room afterward to ask if we could get together sometime for “closure.”  I told him I had already achieved closure by leaving him and went to alert security. I did my best to ignore him as much as possible, but I also constantly altered my driving and walking paths to work, had colleagues escort me out of the building when possible, and spent far too much time constantly looking over my shoulder.  I was making a life for myself, but I often felt hemmed in, trapped, and hopeless.

Then, on September 25, 1987, I happened to catch the pilot showing of Beauty and the Beast.  I’d seen the promotional ads and thought it sounded interesting, if a bit far-fetched. A modern-day fairytale. Ha! I didn’t believe in fairytales anymore, and I certainly wasn’t interested in letting ANY man back in my life.

But from the very first episode, from the very first time I heard Vincent’s gentle, raspy voice, hope began to sneak its way back into my heart. By the end of the pilot, I was thoroughly enchanted, and Friday evenings became “appointment tv” for me, though often it was through viewing recorded tapes on the VCR. Most Friday nights, I was on stage myself! This show was a balm to my weakened spirit. Like Catherine, I found my courage and began to step out into my life in new ways.

By the close of the first season, my family noticed a new lightness in my aspect and step. By the time the series ended, I had quit my job and gone back to graduate school to get my master’s degree in voice. And somehow while I was getting my degree, a new man – a much younger man! – came into my life; a singer, like me.  We’ve been married for 32 and a half years now, and we have a house of our own, two beautiful, talented daughters … and two cats. And in so many ways, I have this wonderful show to thank for the amazing life I’ve been able to build.