STRUCTURING YOUR STORY – PART 2

WAIT – WHAT?

When readers find errors in your work, they will question everything else you write, but getting your facts straight helps build their enjoyment and confidence in your writing. When you make sure you are providing accurate information, you are showing you have respect for your readers, for yourself, and for the craft of writing.

Fanfic is full of amazing ideas that expand the BatB world we love. No one writer can know everything about every topic that might inspire a BatB story, but every writer easily can find the info they need. If you’re not certain about your facts, take the time to do some research. It will be well worth the effort, and you might find you enjoy it!

Why do research?

1.You’ll find info that will add color, depth, and interest to your story.

2.You’ll enjoy learning about topics you may have never explored.

3. You’ll know you’ve provided accurate info for your readers.

4. You might discover inspiring ideas for additional stories.

Try some of these strategies:

1. For information on general topics:

We all know Google is priceless for this purpose. Just make sure the sources you choose are reliable. One way to check is by reading two or three postings on the same topic and comparing the info you find.

You can ask another writer or fan for help. On CABB – New Chambers, we have a list of people who are willing to offer expertise on a variety of subjects

2. For information on topics pertinent to BatB:

People on discussion groups such as BBTV are happy to help. If you can’t remember details such as which character says a particular line, or which episode includes a certain event, etc., BBTV is a great place to ask for clarification. Someone always knows the answer!

If your question is about the chronology of the series (e.g., when did Devin leave the   tunnels, when was Catherine born), check out Vicky’s Tunnel World Timeline on CABB – New Chambers.

There are other BatB websites full of helpful info, too. For example, you can find transcripts and complete scripts on batbforever.com

And, of course, you can always rewatch the episode(s), something few of us would ever object to doing!

Be realistic about needing assistance. It’s a problem we’ll all encounter, but it’s not a valid reason to give up on a great story idea, especially when it’s relatively easy – and often a lot of fun – to get the help you need.

ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE…

When a story is set in a fantasy world, it gives the writer lots of space to be creative and inventive. Nevertheless, certain key facts need to be accurate.

No writer wants their reader to be enjoying a story, happily lost in the world the writer has created, only to be yanked out of it when they find errors. We already know that doing research can help keep this from happening, but sometimes we include misinformation without realizing we’re doing so.

Something might sound right, but that doesn’t guarantee that it is right. If you’re even a tiny bit uncertain, it’s best to investigate. This applies to general information and to specific BatB world elements. Remember, your readers are fans of the series. If you make errors, they will notice.

The biggest challenge is that sometimes errors aren’t readily apparent. You still have to fix them, but how is that possible when you don’t realize you’ve made them, even when you’ve checked your work multiple times? The solution is found in one word – editing – which is a topic that will be presented in an upcoming workshop.

But for now, try taking a mini quiz and see if you spot “hidden” errors in the examples below.

1. Catherine often enjoys a leisurely stroll to work on a crisp winter morning.

No, she does not. Why? Winter in NYC is often bitterly cold. Wind whips down the streets between buildings like a frozen tornado. She wears heels and skirt suits. Her demanding job puts her on a tight, time-crunching schedule. She lives uptown. The DA’s Office is way down in Lower Manhattan, a walk of over five miles on crowded city sidewalks. She would have to stop often to wait to cross streets and/or dodge traffic so that she won’t become a rush hour fatality.

Do any of these facts sound conducive to enjoying a leisurely stroll on an early morning in winter? These errors could have been avoided with a 90-second search on the maps and weather apps on your phone.

2. Vincent pulled a book from a shelf in the library loft. Number the Stars by Lois Lowry. How moved he had been by the story when he was an adolescent. It was certain to generate meaningful discussions among Samantha, Kipper, and his other students in this week’s literature classes.

This one sounds believable, but the widely read author Lois Lowry’s modern classic Number the Stars was published in 1989. That makes it a great choice as a new discovery for Vincent’s students, but it didn’t exist when he was an adolescent.

Specifying a book Vincent wishes to use in his teaching gives color and depth to the scene. How can you be certain he has chosen an appropriate title that he also might have read as a young teen? Google “popular children’s books in 1970”, and you’ll find a sizable, accurate list to choose from.

3. The children waited as Zach carefully locked the gate and slid the concealed door shut. “That soccer game was mega cool!” Geoffrey high-fived his teammate Samantha. “I know! We killed the other team. And your winning goal – sweet!” Eric scowled as they headed for the home tunnels. “Yeah, you guys owned us.”

Did you catch the key errors in this mini-scene? Children their age authentically talk like this, but the slang words used were popular in the 2000s, not the late ‘80s/early 90’s. Again, a quick ‘Googling’ of the topic would yield a list of words and phrases that are chronologically accurate, such as awesome, rad, and you guys burned us.

Here’s one more example. It’s from a fanfic written way back in the early days of our fandom. The story involved Catherine buying a house in NYC. No problem with that as it’s completely possible, except that this house was located in the middle of Central Park, and no, the story’s genre was not AU (alternate universe).

Central Park is a National Historic Landmark and a NYC designated landmark. It is a green space that is not zoned for residential use. Again, thirty seconds on Google would have avoided an error that pulled me right out of an otherwise enjoyable story. It was a fatal mistake that could have been easily avoided.

WHEN GOOD IS GOOD, BUT IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

The artist Marc Chagall once said, “When color is right, form is right.” Of course, he was talking about art, but he could have meant writing.

Adding ‘color’ – in other words, pertinent details – is a way to bring greater depth and realism to your story. It can be the difference between a good story and a great one. Again, with a minimal investment of time and effort, research can help provide the information you need in order to enhance your creation with color that makes the reading – and writing – experience more appealing and engaging.

There are ways to add color easily and seamlessly. Start with a basic statement about your plotline or premise, and ask yourself what else a reader might wish to know. For example:

Vincent is reading a book.

What’s the title? Who is the author? Where did he get the book? Why did he choose it – is it a favorite author, a recommendation, a research topic?

William is cooking dinner.

What recipe is he following? Where did he find it? What are the ingredients? Why did he choose it?

Catherine is working with a client.

Who are they – names, life situations? What do they need? What is she doing to help them?

Father is looking at a map.

What location does it show? What is he looking for? Why does he need this information?

You get the idea. The simple inclusion of details now and then makes a basic scene come to life. What was black and white becomes enhanced by color. Just be careful to include details that are meaningful to the point you’re making, not purposeless chunks of information. You want to give your readers enough color to enhance the scene, not drown them in vats of it.

Also, color should complement your narrative and dialogue, not fight them for attention. If your details aren’t too elaborate, if they enhance the reader’s understanding of the story, and if they fit in seamlessly, then you’ve been successful. A good way to check for success is to see if your details sound natural and appropriate. Channel Goldilocks and work until you have created color that is not too much and not too little. Always aim for “just right”.

Here are some samples. Decide which ones you would prefer to read. Based on the concept of adding color, ask yourself why you chose them. Did the paragraph give you enough information to picture the scene or was it too bare bones? Did you enjoy the way the writer drew you into the scene, or were you muttering under your breath and checking your watch?

Keep in mind – when it comes to color, we’re going for relevant splashes, not random waves.

Sample A:

1. William wiped his brow as he stood in the doorway. A smile brightened his face. He could tell that everyone liked the new recipe he had prepared. He was surprised but pleased.

2. William wiped sweat off his brow as he stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room. A smile brightened his broad face as he watched everyone in his family enjoy the dinner he had prepared a few hours earlier. Usually, he had help, but tonight the kitchen crew had been shorthanded. Jaime wasn’t feeling well, Mariah had to run an errand uptop, and Mouse was nowhere to be found. But eventually everything had been accomplished. It hadn’t been easy to find a recipe to use up all those vegetables Mr. Wong sent. Like their other Helpers, he was very generous. Someone should send him a thank you note. Maybe Father should write it and have one of the children deliver it tomorrow. He’d make sure that happened. He thought about the nine boxes and four bags of vegetables again. He was so glad they didn’t go to waste, as that had been a major concern when he saw what had been delivered early that morning, approximately 7:15 a.m. Luckily, he’d found a vegan cookbook in a box of donated books Mr. Smythe had sent down last Tuesday. He hadn’t had high hopes for it, but one recipe seemed to jump out at him because it called for all the donated vegetables. Also, he had plenty of spices on hand, such as garlic, thyme, oregano, basil, curry powder, chives, and marjoram, and it also gave him a chance to use all those old baking dishes that had been recently found in a storeroom, years after they’d been donated by a Helper who had since moved to Hawaii. He chuckled as he watched everyone eat every bit of food on their plates. It was surprising that they all seemed to be enjoying this latest creation. He would make it again, maybe next week or even the week after if they could get the right vegetables from their Helpers.

3. William wiped his brow as he stood in the doorway. A smile brightened his face as he watched his family enjoy the evening meal. Finding a way to use up all the fresh vegetables Mr. Wong had donated had been a challenge, but a vegan cookbook unearthed from a donated box of books had yielded just the right recipe. He chuckled as plates were scraped clean and satisfied comments echoed through the dining chamber. Who would have guessed a kale, broccoli, and chard casserole would be such a hit? A sprinkling of garlic, oregano, and basil must have helped. He shrugged and headed back to the kitchen to add the recipe to his collection of favorites.

Sample B:

1. Father unfurled the map and spread it across his desk. He was certain it would provide the information they needed. He spotted it right away and went to tell the work crew about it.

2. Father walked over to his desk and opened a large wooden storage box filled with maps. He chose one and started to unfurl it, but the five piles of books on the desk were in the way. He took several minutes to move all the books to nearby shelves. Then he returned to the map and spread it across the open space. This should be the one that would provide the information they needed. Luckily, upon unfurling it, he found it was the one he’d been looking for. He examined the fading illustration on the old length of canvas that was fraying at the ends. Even with his glasses, it was hard to decipher. He fetched another lamp and three lit candles. That was better. With his finger, he followed the lines of a tunnel that hadn’t been used in many years. It was one from the earliest days of the community’s existence, but they’d found more efficient pathways since, so this one was more or less abandoned. Why had they stopped using it? He frowned, unable to answer his own question. He’d have to ask someone to help him investigate. Maybe Winslow or Cullen. No, Kanin would be the best one for the job. Good thing he was finally living Below again after his unfortunate imprisonment Above. Of course, there was no question he’d broken the law and acted in a reprehensible way that he needed to atone for. Still, it was good to have him back. He could help with this project. The old tunnel still might be usable. Why had they forgotten about it? He scowled as he tried to remember the reason it had been abandoned. Had it flooded? Was there a cave-in?  He was certain it led to the Painted Tunnels where Elizabeth worked alone to create murals depicting the tunnel community’s history. He wondered what images she was working on now. He hoped she’d include some festivities from last Winterfest. Everyone would enjoy those. But first they needed another way to get to the Painted Tunnels, one that was faster and more efficient. It should have better lighting, too. He rolled up the map, pushed himself out of his chair, blew out the candles, then walked to the library entrance. He would go to Kanin’s workshop to consult him.

3. Father unfurled the map and spread it across an empty spot on his desk. He was certain it would provide the information they needed for an alternate route to the Painted Tunnels. He traced a finger along curving lines drawn on the faded canvas. There it was – the little-used tunnel he’d remembered from the community’s earliest days. He frowned, trying to remember why it had been abandoned. Perhaps all it needed was some renovation. He rose from his chair, and with the rolled map under his arm, he headed for Kanin’s workshop.

Sample C:

1. Catherine smiled as she hung up the phone. Her contact at the museum had been more than helpful in setting up a field trip for a group of the tunnel children. They were certain to enjoy the exhibits. If it all worked out, she hoped Father would let them go again.

2. Catherine smiled as she hung up the phone. It had only taken five tries to finally speak with her contact at The American Museum of Natural History on Central Park West at 79th Street. Her friend, whom she’d known since graduate school at Columbia University, was very busy, but she was also helpful. Catherine wanted to arrange to take a small group of children, no more than six or seven, to visit the museum. Her friend would set up all the details for her so that the children would have a great experience. Catherine had been there many times herself, beginning when she was a child. She remembered her parents taking her there even when she was in kindergarten and she’d loved it, even though it hadn’t been her favorite thing to do in or near Central Park. She had preferred seeing the animals at the zoo and sailing little boats on the lake, but the museum had been fun, too. Of course, as an adult, her favorites were the Metropolitan Museum of Art and MOMA (the Museum of Modern Art, but that was on West 53rd Street, so it actually didn’t count as a favorite Central Park activity since it was not in the park’s neighborhood). And, if she were making a list, strolling in the park at night with Vincent would be Number One. But the children would enjoy the exhibits at the Natural History Museum. She wondered which ones the children would choose as favorites. The group would probably include Samantha, Eric, Geoffrey, Kipper, Zach, and one or two others. She opened her desk drawer and took out a recently purchased museum guidebook. She had been lucky to find it when she ducked into Barnes and Noble on her lunch break last Wednesday when a sudden rainstorm began. She looked through the listings. It would be difficult to choose which galleries to take the children to. She had a good idea. She would bring the book Below when she went to visit in two and a half days and ask them which they preferred – the model of the blue whale, the T Rex and hall of dinosaurs, the collection of gems and minerals, the Northwest Coast Hall, the butterfly collection, the dioramas of animals like elephants, bears, moose, coyotes, sheep, jaguars, even extinct ones like mammoths, just to name a few. Then, of course, there was the Hayden Planetarium. But maybe that would have to wait for another day. She wondered if Father would allow them to make a return visit. Maybe he’d like to go with them next time. Then again, maybe she would ask Mary or even Rebecca. She’d have to give this some thought. But no matter what, the children would have a wonderful time.

3. Catherine smiled as she hung up the phone. An old friend, a docent at The Museum of Natural History, had been more than helpful in setting up a field trip for some of the tunnel children. She could just picture Geoffrey’s face when he looked up at the suspended model of a blue whale and Samantha’s eyes widening at the sight of a herd of elephants appearing to stampede toward them. It would be an experience they’d never forget, and if all went well, it would be just the first of many outings to other museums, the planetarium, maybe even a ride on the Circle Line around Manhattan. Of course, it all depended on Father’s approval. And if there is a next time, maybe he’ll even consider joining us. I wonder…

As you just discovered, the first entry in each sample is so brief it doesn’t give the reader enough pertinent info, while the second is so long it’s enough to make your eyes hurt. The third in each set offers enough color to make the story interesting and informative without bogging down the narrative with unnecessary trivia.

As you incorporate a few specific details to give your story more depth and realism, just remember to be careful you don’t overdo it. Again – you’re going for drips, not a deluge! As Henri Matisse said, “A thimbleful of red is redder than a bucketful.”

Look back at Sample #3. Let’s say it’s the opening paragraph to a story, which means it needs to give us an idea of the premise of the plotline, some of the characters involved, and a potential problem that needs to be solved. All three of the paragraphs fulfill those requirements. All three tell us Catherine is setting up a visit to a museum for the tunnel children and hints that Father might have an influence on future outings.

But the first suggested paragraph was too skeletal, and the second was too bogged down in unnecessary minutiae. The third one is written in the style and tone that would be most successful to drawing in the reader and adding to their enjoyment, instead of confusing and/or boring them right from the moment they start reading.

Don’t be afraid to accept the challenge of adding color. Just be judicious in how much, when, and where to add it. Remember that your reader will appreciate being intrigued by a few key details that help them picture what your words are telling them. They don’t want or need a lengthy travel guide, an encyclopedia, or an atlas. But they will appreciate some splashes of color that will enhance their journey into the world you’re creating.