Spring 1999

Getting topsider clothes was a sign she was about to be left out of something. Caroline had already internalized this lesson as she entered her eighth year. Her mother’s voice would be a bit too bright, the dress and shoes, this time fuschia patent leather flats utterly impractical for Tunnel pathways, would be produced from bags stuffed with tissue paper that bore the name of a fancy boutique. The clothes were a treat, a payoff not to make a scene, a reminder that she was wealthy, that she had access to things other Tunnel children didn’t. That there’d be a parfait in Lucy’s cafe, after hours, if she’d just be a good girl. She hurled the shoes across the room.

“I don’t want another dress, I wanna go with my class when we go look for flowers in the park tomorrow!”

Catherine hated this; she had hoped it being a necessary ritual would dull the edge but she felt like she was striking a fresh blow every time.

“Sweetie, we’ve been through this, you can go with your Father to see…”

“I don’t want to go when it’s dark! When all the flowers are dead or asleep, did you know that? They can close their buds up so they don’t get cold in the ugly dumb dark.” Caroline was on the verge of tears now.

“Caroline, I know it’s hard but we just want you to be saf-“

“You don’t want anybody to see the ugly freak with fur all over her face!” Caroline threw herself on her bed sobbing. Catherine knelt by the bed.

“You are not an ugly freak, you are beautiful like your father. You are beautiful in ways people aren’t ready for, and I’m sorry that their fear has to be your burden. Caroline, please look at me.” But Caroline kept her head buried in her pillow and flinched from Catherine attempting to place a comforting hand on her back. Catherine sighed and left her to her tears; there was no way out but through when it came to situations like this.

Catherine walked to the brownstone’s kitchen and busied herself making a cup of coffee. It had been a good week until today. Jacob was doing well in his classes and was considering going to a science summer camp upstate. Eric was settling well into medical school at Columbia. Nikki had moved in with him on Monday, their apartment a collection of scavenged pieces from Below and the fabrics Nikki wove and dyed herself.

Samantha was home for spring break from Duke where she was getting close to taking the bar. She had brought home bags of pralines and Cheerwine for the children. For the grownups she’d brought a jar of moonshine that even cut with cans of juice nearly took the enamel off your teeth. The Council had decided Brooke’s girlfriend Lily was trustworthy enough to be introduced to Below; Lily’s first supper Below was to happen tomorrow. Spring was here in the scent of the earth opening up green shoots and the buzzy sense of being and purpose that woke the limbs after a long winter and made you want to climb trees and kiss someone on the nape of their neck.

Catherine felt a kiss on the nape of her neck and smiled. “Hello, Vincent, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I went to check on Caroline first; she’s sleeping.”

Catherine rubbed her forehead. “I wish there was a way to make this easier.”

“There isn’t. Father never found the words either that didn’t make me regret being different and having to stay behind. I got used to it as I got older, but that’s not the same thing.”

“No, it isn’t. I tried the new dress and shoes thing again; I can tell I need a new trick.”

“Don’t belittle doing that, Catherine, it was given from the heart and Caroline will understand that when she’s older.”

“But for now?” Catherine smiled at him wearily.

“She’s going to think you and I are the mean ogres who keep her locked up in the castle tower.”

Catherine chuckled; the Bond flickered between them gossamer and true, a fluid exchange of rueful comfort passing between them unspoken.

They were surprised by a buzz on the kitchen intercom that connected to the secret entrance to their brownstone. Cate’s voice crackled on the line, “Hey, it’s me and some of the other kids, can we come up?”

Catherine answered, “Sure, you know how to open the door.”

Moments later Cate trooped in with River, Luke, and Yuki in tow. They held potted seedlings or packets of seeds in their hands. River looked at her half-brother Luke with the eagerness of someone who can’t wait to tell a secret. He nodded at her and Yuki spoke first. She ran a hand through her hair like her father Joe did during Catherine’s ADA days when he was about to tell her something important he was also a little nervous about.

“So, uh, we were thinking, we know Caroline can’t come with us to the park tomorrow. So we thought we’d bring a park to her. Edie and Devin say it’s okay to use their rooftop for these, they’re special, so Caroline will have to help us plant them tonight.”

Catherine was curious. “What are they?”

River jumped in. “Evening Primrose and Moonflower and Bru…Bru…”

Cate rescued her by finishing “Brugmansia. And a few other things.”

“Can we show them to Caroline?” Luke asked hopefully.

“I think she’d appreciate it,” Vincent said, and the group rushed upstairs, the children a tangle of arms and legs and jackets made from canvas tarps and old Jets sweatshirts. They trailed laughter behind them like the scent of…Jasmine? from a pot Cate carried. Catherine noticed a strange gleam in Vincent’s eyes.

“What is it, Vincent?”

“Those plants…” He smiled, and took Catherine’s hand. “They are all species of flower that bloom at night.”

Spring 1999

Getting topsider clothes was a sign she was about to be left out of something. Caroline had already internalized this lesson as she entered her eighth year. Her mother’s voice would be a bit too bright, the dress and shoes, this time fuschia patent leather flats utterly impractical for Tunnel pathways, would be produced from bags stuffed with tissue paper that bore the name of a fancy boutique. The clothes were a treat, a payoff not to make a scene, a reminder that she was wealthy, that she had access to things other Tunnel children didn’t. That there’d be a parfait in Lucy’s cafe, after hours, if she’d just be a good girl. She hurled the shoes across the room.

“I don’t want another dress, I wanna go with my class when we go look for flowers in the park tomorrow!”

Catherine hated this; she had hoped it being a necessary ritual would dull the edge but she felt like she was striking a fresh blow every time.

“Sweetie, we’ve been through this, you can go with your Father to see…”

“I don’t want to go when it’s dark! When all the flowers are dead or asleep, did you know that? They can close their buds up so they don’t get cold in the ugly dumb dark.” Caroline was on the verge of tears now.

“Caroline, I know it’s hard but we just want you to be saf-“

“You don’t want anybody to see the ugly freak with fur all over her face!” Caroline threw herself on her bed sobbing. Catherine knelt by the bed.

“You are not an ugly freak, you are beautiful like your father. You are beautiful in ways people aren’t ready for, and I’m sorry that their fear has to be your burden. Caroline, please look at me.” But Caroline kept her head buried in her pillow and flinched from Catherine attempting to place a comforting hand on her back. Catherine sighed and left her to her tears; there was no way out but through when it came to situations like this.

Catherine walked to the brownstone’s kitchen and busied herself making a cup of coffee. It had been a good week until today. Jacob was doing well in his classes and was considering going to a science summer camp upstate. Eric was settling well into medical school at Columbia. Nikki had moved in with him on Monday, their apartment a collection of scavenged pieces from Below and the fabrics Nikki wove and dyed herself.

Samantha was home for spring break from Duke where she was getting close to taking the bar. She had brought home bags of pralines and Cheerwine for the children. For the grownups she’d brought a jar of moonshine that even cut with cans of juice nearly took the enamel off your teeth. The Council had decided Brooke’s girlfriend Lily was trustworthy enough to be introduced to Below; Lily’s first supper Below was to happen tomorrow. Spring was here in the scent of the earth opening up green shoots and the buzzy sense of being and purpose that woke the limbs after a long winter and made you want to climb trees and kiss someone on the nape of their neck.

Catherine felt a kiss on the nape of her neck and smiled. “Hello, Vincent, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I went to check on Caroline first; she’s sleeping.”

Catherine rubbed her forehead. “I wish there was a way to make this easier.”

“There isn’t. Father never found the words either that didn’t make me regret being different and having to stay behind. I got used to it as I got older, but that’s not the same thing.”

“No, it isn’t. I tried the new dress and shoes thing again; I can tell I need a new trick.”

“Don’t belittle doing that, Catherine, it was given from the heart and Caroline will understand that when she’s older.”

“But for now?” Catherine smiled at him wearily.

“She’s going to think you and I are the mean ogres who keep her locked up in the castle tower.”

Catherine chuckled; the Bond flickered between them gossamer and true, a fluid exchange of rueful comfort passing between them unspoken.

They were surprised by a buzz on the kitchen intercom that connected to the secret entrance to their brownstone. Cate’s voice crackled on the line, “Hey, it’s me and some of the other kids, can we come up?”

Catherine answered, “Sure, you know how to open the door.”

Moments later Cate trooped in with River, Luke, and Yuki in tow. They held potted seedlings or packets of seeds in their hands. River looked at her half-brother Luke with the eagerness of someone who can’t wait to tell a secret. He nodded at her and Yuki spoke first. She ran a hand through her hair like her father Joe did during Catherine’s ADA days when he was about to tell her something important he was also a little nervous about.

“So, uh, we were thinking, we know Caroline can’t come with us to the park tomorrow. So we thought we’d bring a park to her. Edie and Devin say it’s okay to use their rooftop for these, they’re special, so Caroline will have to help us plant them tonight.”

Catherine was curious. “What are they?”

River jumped in. “Evening Primrose and Moonflower and Bru…Bru…”

Cate rescued her by finishing “Brugmansia. And a few other things.”

“Can we show them to Caroline?” Luke asked hopefully.

“I think she’d appreciate it,” Vincent said, and the group rushed upstairs, the children a tangle of arms and legs and jackets made from canvas tarps and old Jets sweatshirts. They trailed laughter behind them like the scent of…Jasmine? from a pot Cate carried. Catherine noticed a strange gleam in Vincent’s eyes.

“What is it, Vincent?”

“Those plants…” He smiled, and took Catherine’s hand. “They are all species of flower that bloom at night..