THE POCKET WATCH

by Peg Ray

Tick… tick… tick… tick… The soft sound was wafting from the dresser to Olivia’s ears as she shivered trying to get warm under the covers of her empty bed. She looked across the expanse to where Kanin should be looking lovingly back at her after making love. He would always have a soft expression on his face as he gently stroked her face with one hand. She had known then beyond a doubt that she was loved. Those times were long since passed with only the ghost of the memories to keep her company.

The hot, silent tears scalded her face as they soaked her pillow once again. As always, she eventually cried herself to sleep for the much-needed rest before she had to face another challenging day. She was consistently careful to mask her grief from Luke and the other well-meaning tunnel dwellers. She had always been mostly quiet, so to her tunnel family she appeared normal. Only the one with empathy might have known of her true distress, but he always had distractions of his own to manage.

She had awakened to the pipes announcing the time as six a.m. It was time to dress herself and Luke to start another of the innumerable days since Kanin’s departure. She sat on the edge of the bed and stretched her arms over her head as the cool tunnel air started creeping its way through her night clothes to establish goosebumps on her skin. She quickly reached for her robe at the foot of the bed and donned both it and her slippers.

She made her way to Luke’s bed where she found the five-year-old just starting to awaken.

“Good morning, Luke. How is my best boy this morning?” Her smile carried through in her voice.

“Dandy, Mama!” His sweet voice reflected the innocence and innate happiness of her dear son. “Today in school we’re going on a trip to the fossil cavern to collect old shells from the walls. Mouse says it’ll be neat.”

He had picked up the word dandy from some story that was read in his kindergarten class and would not let it go until the next word caught his fancy. Olivia smiled to herself and she took the kettle from the brazier to warm the water in the wash basin.

“Wash your face and hands and brush your teeth, Luke, and then we can get dressed and go to breakfast.” She took the kettle to her nightstand to warm the water in her basin.

At the end of her morning ablutions she dressed and then reached for the small pocket watch that was sitting on the dresser. She lovingly wound the ancient mystery metal timepiece and placed it around her neck on the heavy silver chain. She liked to think of the soft ticking that sat above her heart as a substitute for Kanin’s heartbeat as she awaited his return to the tunnels.

She thought back to the day that Kanin had given her the pocket watch to hold during his absence. He had carried it with him since he first arrived in the tunnels, and it was as much a part of him as his smile.

* * *

The timepiece had been a gift from his maternal grandfather on his eighteenth birthday as the oldest of his siblings. It had originally belonged to his grandfather’s father, and it dated back to the 1880s. The metal case was worn to a shiny silver appearance from being routinely handled.

The watch was about one and a quarter inch in diameter and had a single ring and stem at the top of the case. It was unique in the modern world because it required a small key to wind the mechanism and set the time once the back was opened. A tiny button on the stem released the catch for the back. The key was on a lighter silver chain attached to the top loop of the stem and dangled below the watch itself. The face had two hands, one for the hour and one for the minutes as measured with Roman numerals.

Most of the tunnel folk who had started their lives Above still had an inherent need-to-know what time it was in that world even though events Below ran on their own time schedules that were announced on the pipes. He would often look at the watch on its chain throughout the day to maintain the connection to the world he had left behind.

When he knew he had to go Above and face incarceration for his crime, he didn’t want to just leave the watch unattended in a drawer awaiting his return.

“Livvy, will you please keep this watch wound for me until I can return? It will make the time pass more quickly if I can imagine you holding this keepsake for me.” His voice and expression told her of his need that she fulfill this request for him.

At first, she had refused his wish. She didn’t want the constant reminder of her aloneness that was enforced by circumstances beyond her control. She was angry at him for his deception, at Catherine for her betrayal of the community, and at the actions of a grief-stricken woman who would not let go of the past.

Removing Kanin from his family for years would never bring the deceased little boy back to life. There was nothing to be done in that regard. Punishing his wife and son with his absence was beyond the scope of chastising the perpetrator of the crime. Justice in the world Above was something that many who lived Below would never be able to grasp. The fact that both Father and Vincent pushed Kanin to surrender to face his sentence was something that Olivia found unforgivable at the time.

She finally relented to his entreaty on the day of his departure for Above. He was wearing Topsider clothing, and he removed the watch from around his neck and placed it on top of the dresser. She watched him give a big sigh as he turned to face her.

“Kanin, please give me the watch and I will keep it wound until you return.” Her voice trembled as the time for his departure drew ever nearer. Her heart was breaking as she didn’t know when she would feel his arms around her again.

He picked up the watch and placed the chain around her neck and then drew her into his arms for one last hug and a final kiss. The watch ticked softly between them as the moment stretched out until he had to let her go and leave for the unknown quantity of time that would divide them.

“Livvy, I’ll be thinking of you and Luke every minute while I’m gone. Please know that I love both of you even though you won’t be able to hear my voice. I’ll write as often as I can.” His voice cracked as he spoke the words and turned to leave her alone in the special chambers he had just recently completed for their now uncertain future.

“I love you, Kanin… Luke and I will be here when you return.” Her whispered words and tears followed him out into the tunnel that would take him away from her.

* * *

Olivia had immediately offered to move into smaller chambers since she and Luke were now a family of two. Father insisted that she and Luke remain in the chambers that Kanin had prepared for them. She thought it was due to the guilt he felt about pushing Kanin to go Above and turn himself in.

To Olivia, it was both a blessing and a curse. The newly created space that was to encompass a dream of tomorrow became an empty and overlarge reminder that all dreams had been put on hold indefinitely. The hollowness of the chambers became a reflection of the hollowness she felt in her soul. Time was slow to move to an uncertain destination.

The numerous niches that were carved for candles held them as unlighted reminders of what once was. The night that Kanin presented the chambers to her with the bed covered in lilacs was a distant memory as the years slowly passed. The only thing that helped was the little watch that kept ticking along on its predestined vigil.

* * *

Kanin had been sentenced to two to five years as punishment for his crime. He was to serve his time in Altona Correctional Facility located in upstate New York. That meant visits from his family were impossible due to the eight-hour distance by bus and the logistics of travel for Olivia.

The threads of their relationship were maintained through letters that were written between them on a weekly basis. When Luke was old enough, he included crayon drawings depicting his life in the tunnels. Since prison mail was often read by the authorities, both had to be careful about their communication so as not to give any clues away about the existence of the tunnels and its inhabitants.

Dear Kanin,

I miss you so much, but I am learning a new hobby to pass the evenings when Luke and I are alone in our apartment. Mary has graciously taught me how to crochet, and I am making a dresser scarf for our bedroom.

We recently attended the annual neighborhood winter party, and it was not the same without you. Our dear son stepped up to dance with his mother. Since his classroom was recently gifted a giant box of crayons, he has included a drawing of the party so you can see how much fun we both had.

I need to get this in the mail run so it will get to you this week. We both love and miss you.

Olivia and Luke

Kanin was delighted with the drawing that depicted the essence of Winterfest. His son had indeed made use of the many colors afforded him by the deluxe box of crayons. If there were 108 crayons available, his son had used every one of them.

The horizontal picture had two large circles at the top with orange candles and large yellow flames drifting off the page. Several individuals depicted in the drawing were easy to identify by the exaggerated characteristics interpreted by the five-year-old.

One individual had long legs, lots of long yellow hair, a black cape, bright blue eyes, and a kitten mouth with vampire-like fangs at the corners. He was standing next to a very thin woman with green eyes and light brown hair in a flowing gown. A rotund figure was drawn as a round body with a beard and long robe next to what looked like a keg. Another man was discernible by the gray beard and walking stick, and he was standing next to a tall woman with a bun on the top of her head.

The two main characters in the center were the ones that were of special interest to him. The woman had long, brown tresses and was wearing a bright blue dress as she was holding the hand of her son. The child had shaggy brown hair and brown eyes like his mother and was wearing patched clothing as he and the woman looked out of the picture. All the characters in the drawing were smiling. The portrayal definitely captured the festivity of the event.

* * *

Kanin was first eligible for parole after two years, and Catherine advised Olivia to be hopeful since the District Attorney’s Office would not oppose him. However, she had not counted on the son’s mother who still thought that the punishment needed to be longer to fit the crime. Olivia’s heart sank, but she still managed to hold it together for Luke.

He came up for parole again two years later after completing four years of imprisonment. The only thing that allowed his release to parole was the fact that the victim’s mother had died from cancer three months before his hearing. She had left word through her attorney that she had forgiven him for his thoughtless act that took her son.

The long ordeal was declared over as a date for Kanin’s release was announced. Arrangements for him to live in an apartment owned by a helper as he worked Above in a hardware store during his parole were made with Catherine and Father’s help.

Upon his release, he would be required to be available for random checks with his parole officer, making lengthy visits Below risky. Yet, he needed to see his family in the setting in which they had been protectively living. He reached out to Father to arrange a meeting with Olivia and his son.

* * *

Olivia was brought back to the present as she and Luke made their way to breakfast. They stopped to use the toilet facilities and then continued to the dining hall. The expected din of morning conversation was muted as she and Luke made their way along the serving line.

As always, she let her son have her portion of bacon, and she settled for the plain oatmeal she placed on the tray. She poured a glass of milk and got a cup of coffee before she grabbed the tray to carry it to the table they always shared with Rebecca.

She was halfway through the dining room when she saw him. The tray and its contents slipped from her hands and clattered to the floor as she burst into tears.

“Mama, what’s wrong?” The startled little boy quickly grasped her hands. He looked up into her face, but she was staring at a man standing ten feet away near the entrance. His gaze followed hers to the unrecognized man wearing Topsider clothing.

Rebecca quickly made her way to pick up the tray and spilled food to let the reunion progress unimpeded. This private family moment was about to unfold in front of the whole community.

Olivia was transfixed on the man who was slowly moving towards them. He had some white hairs sprinkled in his sideburns and in the hair at the front of his head. There were more crinkles around his eyes as he smiled his widest smile. But he was finally here in the tunnels in person after their long separation.

“Livvy… Luke.” The two most important names in the world to Kanin were the only words that passed his lips. He stood in front of his wife and son with his eyes full of hope and tears.

“Luke, honey, this is your father.” Olivia’s voice trembled as she forced the words out and put her hands on her son’s shoulders.

Luke put out his hand for a handshake. “Nice to meet you, sir.” His polite tunnel upbringing had instilled the manners that he deemed appropriate for this situation.

Kanin dropped down to his level and clasped his son’s small hand in both of his as he gently looked into his eyes. “It is so nice to meet you again, too, Luke.”

The small boy looked deeply into his father’s eyes and saw only love. He liked this man he had heard so many stories about from his mother. He smiled and moved to his mother’s side as Kanin rose to his feet again.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Kanin’s neck and sank into his embrace. She hadn’t been told the exact date he would enter the tunnels, so she was unprepared for the emotional onslaught this moment presented. Her sobs made her son watch the two with confusion in his eyes. He thought his mother was happy, but she was crying uncontrollably.

She suddenly regained her awareness of Luke and reached out to include him in a hug that set his fears to rest. They would become a family again.

The three of them left the dining hall to return to their chambers. When they arrived, she removed the necklace with the watch and gave it back to Kanin.

“I have been keeping this wound for you all this time.” She smiled the expression that had captured his heart many years ago.

He was surprised that the watch was not ticking. The timepiece was stalled at seven o’clock and it was at least an hour later in the day. “When did the watch stop working, Livvy?”

Puzzled, she frowned and asked, “What do you mean? I wound it this morning and it was working just fine.”

“Well, it’s stopped now. It likely needs to be cleaned and oiled since it’s been more than four years since it was last serviced.” He was momentarily at a loss for words as a bizarre speculation came over him. He saw the same look in her eyes.

“Did it stop this morning when you returned to the tunnels?” She couldn’t believe she was asking this. “Did it know that it no longer needed to measure your absence?”

He chuckled. “You know… Narcissa would say this is true.”

They heard Geoffrey outside the chamber entrance asking for permission to enter. When granted, he carried in a tray containing three plates of scrambled eggs, bacon, and muffins with two cups of coffee and a glass of milk. He set it on their small table. “William thought you could use some food while you catch up.” He excused himself and left.

The newly reunited family sat down together and held hands as Olivia smiled before they all bowed their heads and she said grace. “Heavenly Father, we thank you for your mercy and the blessing of returning Kanin home to his family. We know that all things happen in your perfect timing. Thank you for the food you have provided. Use it to nourish our bodies and us to thy service. In Jesus’s name we pray.” The three distinct voices blended beautifully with “Amen.”

There was an awkward silence for a moment as they dropped hands and looked around the table at each other. Kanin realized that his wife had kept her faith even as his own had faltered in prison. Although the rhythm of their previous interactions was a cherished memory, a new dynamic would soon be established for the individuals they had become.

He watched as his wife moved her bacon to Luke’s plate and cut it into bite-sized pieces. His eyes teared up again at the love displayed in her actions as she continued to care for his son. He was so fortunate to have them both again in his life.

He needed to break the silence so he choked back his tears and said, “I can’t stay long this morning because I need to check in with my landlord and the parole officer early this afternoon. What do you two have planned for today?”

Luke piped up. “In school we’re going to the fossil cavern to gather some shells. Mouse says it’ll be neat.”

“That sounds like lots of fun, Luke. What about you, Livvy?”

“I am on laundry duty all this week. I work in the sewing room the week after. The new schedules have us rotating through various assignments to keep us from getting bored.” She tried to put a positive spin on the mundane talk as they struggled to find a solid footing after such a long time apart.

The family unit was starting to slowly reconnect as they polished off the food offering. There was much to reestablish in these relationships, and both adults realized it would take time… time that they would have in abundance moving forward after the parole requirement was over. In the meantime, they would take baby steps toward the future.

Olivia knew that the time ahead was not guaranteed to be perfect, but at least they could progress with the rest of their lives to experience. And the watch that had perpetually measured the interval of separation was finally back with its owner where it belonged. It could now resume its original purpose of tying Kanin to his ancestry.