AGAINST ALL ODDS

by JoAnn Baca

How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you?
You’re the only one who really knew me at all.

How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave?
‘Cause we’ve shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears.
You’re the only one who really knew me at all.

She had been putting on a brave face for weeks now. But she couldn’t hold the tears at bay any longer.

Michael was gone.

She had helped him pack, wanting to spend every last moment with him that she could, wanting to prove herself indispensable to him, if that was even possible. Because, really, what could she offer him that could compare to the lure of college and sunshine and exciting new people to meet?

Over the last year they had become good friends. He had tutored her whenever she needed help, had made room for her in the Dining Chamber when she was looking for a place to sit, had even been Benedick to her Beatrice in a scene from Much Ado About Nothing to entertain the community Below. She had confided in him, and he had been a willing listener as she told him everything in her heart…except for the most important thing: how she felt about him.

She had never managed to dredge up the courage to do that. Not yet. Because she’d had time. Or so she’d thought. Then, suddenly, she found out he had applied to and was accepted by a college Above. Maybe if she had revealed her love for him early on, he would never have even thought of leaving. But her time had run out.

What could she possibly say now, when he had all those new possibilities shining in his eyes, all those Uptop options suddenly before him? Confronted by all his excitement and planning for the next stage of his life, she had not been able to do more than simply add hers to the many other voices congratulating him.

So she had gamely offered her help in finding clothing Below that would serve him in his new life Above. What else could she do for him, after all? And he had been kind. So kind. Telling her she was pretty, too, when she had rashly offered her advice to stay away from the pretty girls he’d be meeting in college.

Did he see through her? Did he know what she had really meant? To stay away from other girls because she was in love with him? But at least it had merited a hug from him…a few precious seconds when, for the first time, she was pressed close within his arms, the scent of his skin filling her nostrils. Skin she had wanted so much to kiss…

She sobbed into her pillow, miserable, bereft.

So take a look at me now, oh, there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face.
Oh, take a look at me now, well there’s just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds, and that’s what I’ve got to face.

* * *

 “How’re ya doing, Brooke?”

Startled out of yet another reverie involving herself with a somehow miraculously returned Michael, Brooke looked up guiltily from her uneaten oatmeal.

“Oh, hi, Daniel.”

The tall young man who had seated himself beside her on the trestle table bench was gazing with concern at her, as if his question was more than just a polite greeting. “Are you OK?” He frowned and gave a quick glance to her breakfast before turning his gaze full on her. “Maybe I could get you some toast instead?”

She summoned a watery smile for him – the best she could do at the moment. “No, thanks. I’m just…not feeling very hungry.”

“Well…let me give you my tea, at least. Yours must’ve gone cold by now.” Without waiting for her to refuse his offer, he took her mug from in front of her and replaced it with the one he had just poured for himself.

“Thanks,” she mumbled. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. She wished it was Michael who was paying this kind of attention to her, noticing if she was eating, or that her tea was cold. Daniel was a nice enough guy, true, but he was no Michael.

Suddenly, being surrounded by her Tunnel family was too much for her. Brooke muttered, “I need to go,” and fled the Dining Chamber. She didn’t notice Daniel gazing after her, a thoughtful look on his face.

* * *

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There’s so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You’re the only one who really knew me at all.

Michael had returned to the Tunnels!

But, oddly, he hadn’t lingered.

Nobody knew much for certain, but rumors swirled that he’d had some kind of disagreement with Vincent, and there was even more hushed talk that Vincent and Catherine had had an argument over Michael. Both situations seemed unlikely to Brooke. But whatever the truth, the one unassailable fact was that Michael had returned Below, at least for a while…and had not come to see her, nor asked her to meet him.

He’d been gone barely a week and had forgotten all about her!

The pain she felt nearly crumpled her. She had thought they were close – good friends, at least. For him not to come to see her the very first time he visited since going to live Above meant she was just like everyone else Below in his eyes – just another friendly face, nobody special.

She was even more devastated than she had been when he’d left originally. All the things she’d thought of to say to him since he’d gone, from a carefully crafted confession of love to her appeal to him to come back where he belonged…and to belong to her…it was all ashes in her mouth now.

There was a shuffling sound outside her chamber. Startled, Brooke quickly wiped away the evidence of her crying with the sleeves of her dress. She expected someone to ask to enter momentarily and didn’t want to be caught tearful and runny-nosed.  But no one requested entry.

After waiting for a long moment, she rose from her bed and stood just inside her chamber entrance. There was a tray on the ground in front of her, covered with a napkin. She stuck her head out and peeked around, but there was no one there. Picking up the tray, she noticed a note pinned to the napkin.

The tray held a pot of hot tea and, from the aroma, some freshly baked cookies. This was not William’s baking day, so the presence of warm baked goods was unusual. Placing the tray on her bed, Brooke unpinned the note.

You seemed sad at dinner, and you hardly ate. I baked these for you in case you get hungry later. I know chocolate chip is your favorite.
    ~ Daniel

Surprised anyone had noticed – either that she was feeling low or that chocolate chip cookies were her absolute favorite – she quickly lifted a corner of the napkin and plucked a cookie from the tray.

One bite and she was closer to feeling better than she ever expected she could be right now. The crispness of the cookie as she took that first bite melted into a softer center, then the taste of chocolate filled her mouth with a sudden thrill of happiness. Her stomach rumbled, her hunger revived, and she devoured the rest of the cookie in two bites.

Closing her eyes to delight fully in the texture and taste of the cookie, her mind fastened on the fact that someone had been thinking of her, and wanted to do something to make her feel better. When had that ever happened to her? But Daniel had noticed, and had done this kindness for her.

Something Michael – her dearly beloved Michael – had never done.

Wondering at that revelation, Brooke took another cookie from the tray, then poured herself a mug of tea.

* * *

But to wait for you is all I can do and that’s what I’ve got to face.
Take a good look at me now, ‘cause I’ll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds.
It’s the chance I’ve gotta take.

Daniel entered Vincent’s chamber ahead of his classmates. He didn’t like attention called to himself, so getting there early meant he could get the seat farthest back. And sitting behind everyone also meant he could observe without being noticed.

Brooke walked in and Daniel’s eyes lit up. This was the highlight of his day – getting to see Brooke for a full hour, watching her engage with Vincent and others, listening to her voice and her occasional laughter. His heart always felt full and happy when she was around.

He knew how much Brooke admired Michael. It was so obvious, he didn’t know how Michael had been so oblivious. If it had been him… But it wasn’t. And since Michael was the center of Brooke’s universe, as long as she had been happy, Daniel had been, too – for her.

Now that Michael was gone, Brooke’s happiness was crushed by the weight of her unrequited love for him. That pained Daniel. He had no idea how to make her feel better, other than to find ways to show her she was thought of and cherished. The idea of baking her favorite cookies had come to him, so he’d promised to do kitchen duty all week if William would share his cookie recipe. Daniel hoped she’d liked them.

But what else could he do? And how would he ever let her know how much he cared about her? Would she even welcome his love? He was no Michael, after all. He was just…quiet, boring, unnoticed Daniel.

Brooke came into the chamber, looked around, and when she saw him…she smiled.

Daniel’s heart filled with hope. Against all odds.

_____________

Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now) by Phil Collins and Charles David