FEELINGS

by Paula

Author’s Note: In my BatB world, Ike first appears in my story Friendly Terms which is part of the Decades Challenge for WFOL 2025, available here on Tunnel Tales. 

Love grows where friendship already exists.

~ Author unknown

The murmur of the water had a soothing effect. He leaned against a rock wall and gazed at the flowing streams.

An enchanted place, good to relax, perfect to think…Tears gathered in the corners of his gray eyes, ready to flow. Gratitude for the chance at a new life filled his heart, but also longing for his mother, who was not so lucky, and for his father, whom he did not even know. Here he was not alone; surrounded by people who care about him, he regained joy and faith that his life could be better. It’s unbelievable that it’s already been a year that I lived Below and had a family.

A gentle smile adorned his face as the tender thoughts went in another direction. I am in love.  I think that after such a long time I have become trustworthy, that I have proven to her that I can be relied on. Ike closed his eyes tightly, recalling the last time when they were swimming in the Bathing Chamber. Thanks to Vincent, he felt confident in the water and greatly enjoyed this activity. Often, under the pretext of exercise, he could get a little closer to the object of his incessant thoughts. He was a keen observer, wondering if there was a shadow of hope that Amy would look at him differently, if he could become more than just a good buddy.

He sighed heavily. So much time has passed and we are still friends. It’s time for me to take the first step. Should I invite her for a date? Or just kiss her?

Steam was rising around the waterfall. He ran his hand over the sandy ground, and after a moment his eyes opened wider when he saw her name written on the sand.

 I didn’t expect this feeling would affect me so much. He shook his head and shredded the letters, still not knowing what to do.

The sound of footsteps snapped him out of his reverie. His face lit up with a smile when he saw his best buddy.

Vincent tilted his head to one side. “I see you are without a book today. That means you want to think.”

Ike laughed briefly. “You know me well.” His gaze went to the book held in his companion’s hand. “I can see that you want to escape into some adventure.” He recognized the cover. ‘Tales of the Fish Patrol’. We talked about this book a while ago.”

“Yes, I thought we would read, but if you need a moment of silence, I’ll find another place.” Uncertainty took over and he took a step back.

“Where are you going?  I needed to think, and now I need a conversation.” He patted the spot next to him, making his friend smile broadly.

He took up the invitation, willing to both talk and help.

Minutes passed in silence as they both stared at the streams of water. Vincent could almost hear the gears turning in his closest friend’s head. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I don’t know where to start.” He spread his hands helplessly.

“Best from the beginning and slowly,” replied his curious comrade.

Ike pulled his legs up, rested his hands on his knees, and took a deep breath.

“There are issues that involve my thoughts, concerns, and feelings.” He finished the enumeration in a hushed voice.

His listener nodded and focused on his companion. “Go ahead.”

He took a deep breath. “I’ve been living in this wonderful place for a while now, but in my mind I still remember the time when my life was limited to an abandoned building,  scattered syringes, when I didn’t have any food, and had to steal when I couldn’t ask anymore.”

His gaze escaped toward the water. “Images come back to me of when my mother was lying on the bed unconscious, and I didn’t know what to do. I did not understand this addiction. I ran away then and rummaged through the garbage.” He rubbed his moist eyes. “And there I found damaged books. Looking at the photos was an escape from this hopeless environment.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through this, but luckily you found us. Here, you don’t have to fear another day. You live in peaceful surroundings.”

“Yes, and I am grateful for that every day.” His eyes were still full of tears.

For a while, silence returned. Vincent waited for Ike to continue, sensing that this was not the whole cause of the commotion.

“I told you that my mother’s friend, an older guy, taught me how to read. I think he wanted to protect me from certain situations.” He paused and looked at him, knowing that he didn’t have to tell him the details. “Believe me, there were times when I needed to concentrate on something else.” His laugh was short and full of bitterness.

“I can guess how hard it was for you.” Vincent touched his arm.

“Thanks, I know you understand. I mention this because I’m afraid I could have the weakness in me that my mother had. I’ve never tried drugs, but I am afraid. Will I be strong enough in the future? If something doesn’t work out in my life, will I succumb and fall into the same swamp?” He rested his forehead against his hands, dreading the past and its impact on the future.

His comrade felt that such a childhood leaves a mark for life, but today Ike for the first time honestly told him about his fears. Previously, he cut off any questions and appreciated when someone didn’t pry into what he was dealing with on a daily basis. I want to help you, but I only have words.

“I feel the strength in you. You lived on the street for so long, hoping for a miracle, and you did not give up on it. You wanted something else. You survived.”

Soothing and calm; sincere words, but with tremendous power, Ike could almost feel the strength. He directed his gaze to his friend, who always had to protect himself from the world Above. He admired his strength and wisdom. The corners of his mouth curved into a slight smile. “You know how to comfort.”

He returned the smile. “I never thought of myself that way.  I just told you the truth.”

“And that truth is what I needed.” After a while, his face clouded over; he bowed his head and again his thoughts returned to his mother. The longing became more intense. “I regret that my mother did not get such a chance.”

Vincent also missed his parents, about whom he knew nothing; abandoned, unwanted, unloved. His eyes clouded with mist, but he shook his head, immediately remembering that he was supposed to be offering comfort. He cleared his throat. “She is certainly happy that you lived and did not end up like her.”

This time Ike tightened his hand on his shoulder. “Dude, you are like a brother to me. Remember that.”

These words were a balm to his heart, yearning for his parents and still for Devin. “And you are like a brother to me.”

They looked at each other for a while, recalling the time when they both came close to death. This was the moment when their brotherly bonds grew closer and they knew they would always protect and count on each other.

Something else was troubling his companion. Vincent could still sense some tension, nervousness in him. “This is not the end, right?”

Ike combed through his short hair nervously. “I decided to tell Amy that I really like her, and I would like to go out on a date Above or here. Do you think she will agree? That she won’t be afraid, that she doesn’t mind that I grew up in a bad environment?” He furrowed his brow, waiting for an answer.

“Then you haven’t told her yet? I thought she already knew how you feel about her. After all, she had agreed to go swimming with you. Wasn’t it a date?” He looked at his buddy with wide-open eyes and noticed that he hid his face in his hands.

“I’m hopeless, but whenever I wanted to tell her what I felt, before I started I could see the fear in her eyes as if she sensed what I wanted to confess and was afraid.”

“I do not know. In this area it is difficult for me to suggest something.”  His facial features became more serious, but he did not want to bring up his one and only sad experience with a girl. He took a deep breath. “I think she likes you, so you shouldn’t worry. Just talk to her.”

“I’m a little nervous. Look!” He held out his hands and showed him how they were shaking.

Vincent raised his eyebrows. “Do not worry and tell her quickly! Because being too nervous is not good for your health!”  His smile revealed fangs and a row of white teeth.

Ike snorted. “Don’t mock me. I am seriously stressed.”

His friend patted him on the shoulder. “I know. I’m trying to cheer you up a bit.”

Finally, his face brightened a little. “Thanks.  I appreciate your support, brother.”

“I will keep my fingers crossed.” He looked at the book he still held in his hand and was about to suggest that they read for a while, but suddenly Mitch appeared in the entrance. They both looked in his direction, waiting…the atmosphere thickened immediately.

“I was looking for you, Ike.” He put his hands in the pockets of his torn pants.

“What’s up?” Ike tried to be nice out of consideration, still grateful for Mitch holding the grate while they ran from the thugs.

“Rennie found a guitar Above. It’s a little damaged, but once you said you wanted to learn to play, so he put it on your bed.”

Ike’s face brightened. “Wow! Awesome! I’ll look at it in a while. Maybe I can fix it.”

“Cool.” He coughed briefly “Want to go get some air with me, here near the entrance to the park?” His face was expressionless.

“No, thanks. I have other plans for today. Take Rennie.” He turned his head toward the water. A song was already playing in his heart, one just for her.

Mitch sneered as if he had seen something disgusting. “Don’t tell me you’re going to read this junk?”

He tore his gaze away from the skimming water. “We’ll be reading something interesting.”

Mitch waved his hand at them. “You guys are boring!” Then, he was gone. The surrounding area became more pleasant and without tension.

Ike squinted and looked at his companion. “Do you think he heard our conversation?”

“Perhaps. But somehow he didn’t insist, and he always pushes you to go with him and pretends that you’re best buddies.”

“We’ll never be best buddies. I don’t trust him, although he didn’t fail when it seemed like the first thing he would do was run away and leave us all.”

His friend’s watchful gaze focused on the entrance, but he sensed no one nearby. “Yes, but if he ran away he wouldn’t have a life here.”

They nodded their heads simultaneously;

Vincent focused again on the book he was holding. “So, what do we do now?” he asked in a conspiratorial tone.

Ike took the book from his hand. “As befits a bored man, we’ll read for a while.”

His companion snorted. “Father will be happy to know you’re quoting him.” He leaned against a rock, happy – really happy – to have someone like him by his side.

* * *

Dinner was going on and there was a buzz of conversation around. Ike leaned towards the girl who had stolen his heart and whispered an invitation in her ear. “Meet me at the Waterfall Chamber an hour after dinner is over.”

When the warm question filled her ear, her beautifully carved lips smiled shyly. “Ok.”

This one word from her was short but gave him immense joy. He tried to eat, but did not taste. He already wanted to leave to get ready, then sit close to each other. In his imagination they held hands, he hugged her close, and maybe she would let him have one kiss.

He pretended to scratch behind his ear to glance at her. His beautiful companion was turned toward Rebecca. It cooled his senses just a bit, but taking a deep breath didn’t change anything. Ike still had an overwhelming urge to kiss her without looking at the crowd around them; his face drew closer, his misty eyes looked at her profile; captivated, hypnotized…

A kick under the table at his ankle brought him back to order, and he looked gratefully at his friend. Again, it was enough for them instead of needing words as a thank you, an explanation. Immediately, he returned to the meal and finally finished it.  Ignoring the curious glances of the adults, the boy simply ran. Today hormones nearly triumphed over reason.

“Why is he in a hurry?” Father expressed amazement.

Vincent, who was sitting nearby, didn’t want to reveal his buddy’s evening plans, so he came up with a quick explanation. “Rennie found a guitar Above. Ike wants to fix it.”

“Oh, I see. I didn’t know he could play.”

“Because he doesn’t know how to, but he dreams of learning.” That was a partial truth, one that an adult would be happy with.

The leader of the community was reassured. “Good that the boy wants to develop and try something new.”  The saved teenager was still a source of pride for him.

With a slice of bread, his son scraped the leftover stew from the bowl and laughed inside; it was the only way he could do it to avoid further questions.

* * *

A quick bath did not bring solace. Feverish, Ike rummaged through his shirts and sweatshirts to find something as little damaged as possible. A gray hoodie and worn-out jeans would be appropriate for this date-not-a-date. He quickly scrubbed his teeth and combed his hair with his fingers, not very happy with the result. With two hands, he leaned against the closet door and took a few deep breaths, but unfortunately it did not help. One more try. With his eyes closed, he breathed slowly. Better.

The worn carpet had a new path trodden by him in anticipation… and it was still too early…

* * *

Amy noticed his hasty exit from the dining chamber. Maybe he wants to talk with me right now. In her mind there were various reasons for their evening conversation, and curiosity did not let up. Inside she was afraid of what he would say to her. I like him, his helpfulness, sincerity, respect for others, but I have a sad past that complicates everything. 

Her premonition that this would not be a mere chummy chat did not leave her. More than once she had seen Ike gather himself to say something important, but she had always skillfully found a way to divert him.This time she should just let him talk. Calmly without nervous movements, so as not to arouse suspicious glances, she got up from the table and went to the agreed place.

The girl sat on the sandy surface and waited, calming her galloping heartbeat. When she heard footsteps, she almost held her breath. You appeared earlier... Her gaze traveled toward the entrance, and her eyes opened wider when she saw Mitch standing there. She immediately rose from her seated position, not wanting a confrontation with him.

“What are you doing sitting here all alone?” His lips twisted into a suspicious smile.

Amy quickly came up with a lie. “I wanted to think for a while.”

He nodded. She didn’t know he had overheard part of Ike’s conversation with Vincent earlier. During dinner, he was a watchful observer. His gaze never left the conspiring couple. He did not miss the moment when his buddy whispered something to the girl and when he hurriedly left the dining room. He assumed they had arranged a date. The desire to show that he was faster and better than his fellow was immense, and jealousy of the affection he observed in others dulled his rational thinking.

“Maybe you need some company?” He slowly approached her.

She felt uncertain inside, but she knew the last thing she needed was his presence. “No thanks, I have to go back now.”

“Oh,” he sneered a little, “So soon?” He was next to her now, his hand brushing her hair behind her ear.  “You’re a pretty girl.”

She pulled away from him and frowned. “What are you doing?”

“I thought maybe we could go out together Above. I have some money put aside.”

The glint in his eyes frightened her; she felt a chill around her heart. From the beginning she did not trust him and had never shown interest in him. “Thanks for the invitation, but I won’t take it.” She turned towards the entrance, wanting to get as far away from him as quickly as possible.

He grabbed her hand. “You think Ike’s better than me!” He had a clenched jaw and furrowed brow.

Now fear gripped her completely. It seemed to her that her feet were glued to the ground. She was afraid of his anger, afraid of what he might do to her. “Ike is my friend. What are you talking about?” She tried to regain her composure.

He laughed out loud. “Who are you trying to fool? After all, you’re arranging to go swimming together. Do you think I’ll believe that this is how you’ll end your date?”  Now he locked her in a tight embrace.

“Leave me alone!” she broke out of his grip.  “I told you we’re just friends!” She was breathing heavily.

Mitch sneered. “You think I believe that? I know you’re waiting for him!” His expression darkened.

She glared at him angrily. “To talk, nothing more!”

“Sure.” He snorted with laughter. “Don’t pretend to be such a saint. I know what you’ve been doing with him. I just didn’t think my buddy was so good at it.” He whistled with feigned admiration.

He grabbed her hand again. “But I’m better.” The words whispered in her ear, making her feel disgusted.

“I don’t want anything from you! Don’t touch me!” She tugged hard and he finally let go. Maybe he doesn’t care that much about me after all.

Amy ran as far away from the bully as possible. He looked after her and was surprised that she did not take up his offer and succumb to his charms.

Tough luck, her loss. His confidence had not diminished, and he did not at all think he had behaved badly. He was convinced that Above there were better girls than she and more willing.

* * *

Ike approached the place where he was to confess what had been sitting in his heart for a long time, nervous, excited, shy. Around the bend, instead of hearing the sound of water, he collided with Amy, who was hastily moving away from the place where they were to meet.

He grinned as she landed in his arms, but the joy did not last long, as she slipped out and did not look in his eyes.

Her face was barely visible in the nearly fading torchlight. “I thought we were supposed to meet in the Waterfall Chamber.” He raised his brows.

“And can’t we talk somewhere else?” She asked the question to his boots.

All confidence after a little bit flew out of him.  He’d dreamed that they’d be sitting close, listening to the sound of the water. The boy scratched his head, looking in his mind for another quiet place. “Then maybe in Vincent’s chamber? I heard he’s playing chess with Father.”

She nodded, but her behavior worried him deeply. “Has something happened?” He extended his hand toward her, wanting to touch her chin and finally see her eyes, but she moved away, stripping him of his confidence completely.

“Nothing happened. Let’s go.” Unfortunately, she did not offer him a glance.

They were silent on the way, and this quietness weighed heavily on their minds.

Inwardly, he was fighting a battle over whether to even tell her how he felt. Watching their behavior, he had some concerns; on the other hand, he was tired of stewing everything inside and wondering what she was thinking.

After crossing the threshold of their friend’s chamber, Amy sat down in a chair and Ike set up a second seat opposite. For a while the tapping from the pipes was the only sound they heard.

A shadow of reluctance surrounded her. She folded her hands and placed them on the table and finally honored him with a sad look.

At this point he should stop, perhaps change his plans and make another meeting; he longed for her smile and the sparkle in her eyes. His hands went to the table, hoping that he might be able to touch her when the conversation went in the direction he dreamed of. Nerves were eating at him mercilessly.

Finally, he began. “I don’t know how to start.” Her smile was shy and for a moment he noticed the weak response in his lovely companion. It was a bit of encouragement he was waiting for. “We have been friends for some time. I really enjoy spending time with you. I treasure these moments. I don’t know if you’ve noticed that I’ve been trying to tell you something, but I was not able to do it.” He sighed and could feel the sweat running down his back. “I’ve liked you for a long time, but I’ve kept it inside, afraid to admit that you’ve become more than a friend for me.”

Amy closed her eyes, and he didn’t know whether to continue or collapse to the ground. However, he trudged on. “I would like us to go out together on something like a date, try it out, and maybe something will change from your side, too, and we’ll become a couple. What do you think about it?” He waited, and her eyes were still closed. The teenager felt a blush begin to flow onto his cheeks and ears. His hands went under the table; the hope of a touch had disappeared.

Suddenly his beautiful companion stood up and walked over to a nearby cabinet. Her sigh echoed off the rock walls.

Failure was suffocating him. She didn’t need to say anything; all good thoughts were just moving away from him.

After too long a silence, she began to speak. “Ike, I like you and we have nice conversations and times together, but I’m not ready for dating. Friendship is enough for me now.” She turned toward him, but his gaze was fixed on the table. Now, his complexion looked pale even in the candlelight. He’d accepted her refusal with dignity, and although she didn’t think he would be pushy like Mitch, she feared a similar reaction.

He started to get up from the table. “Sorry, I…”

Amy didn’t let him finish. “You don’t have to apologize to me.” And then she was gone.

For a moment he stared at the exit with his mouth open.  “I’m sorry.” The boy fell heavily onto the chair and his hands were resting on the table. He hid his face there; disappointed, ashamed, wounded.

* * *

Vincent was returning from a victorious chess game, inwardly exultant. Curiosity gnawed at him as to how his best friend had fared during the date; he was sincerely rooting for him, or rather them. He sensed that Amy would share Ike’s feelings. He had almost returned to his chamber when he saw the aforementioned girl running out of it. She quickly flashed past him, rubbing her eyes. His heart was immediately gripped by anxiety. Something had gone wrong.

Amidst the rock walls, he stood, struggling with his thoughts. To go to Ike, or to give him some time alone, or perhaps to sit with him in silence to make him feel better. With a slow step he moved to his place, and as he crossed the threshold, the answer appeared on its own. Before his eyes he saw an image of disappointment. His companion, who had somewhat filled the void left by Devin, had his head tucked in his hands, clenching his fists and relaxing them, breathing deeply.

Vincent clasped his hand on friend’s shoulder. Ike shuddered and raised his head. “Oh, you’re back already. How did the game go?” He tried to maintain a semblance of calm.

“All right, another win, Father snorted and muttered something under his breath.”

His listener smiled sadly.

He risked the question.“And how did it go with Amy?”

His friend spread his hands. “As you can see, hopelessly. For Amy, friendship is enough. She is not ready for dating.” He hung his head.

“I’m sorry.” He sat down opposite his buddy.

“Thanks, I can handle it.”  He rubbed his eyes and began to massage his temples. “Too many of these emotions, I feel like my head is about to explode.”

Vincent combed his own storms of hair. “I don’t know if I should tell you this,  but I saw Amy as I walked down the corridor. She was in a hurry and she was wiping her tears.”

At these words, Ike’s heart stopped for a second. “Strange. We didn’t argue. I accepted her words. But tears…why? What’s the point?” He got up from his chair, walked to a nearby wall, and leaned against it with his forehead. It brought him relief from at least this one pain.

Vincent furrowed his brow. His buddy was falling apart from love. He remembered what that feeling was, how it had destroyed him from the inside, what a mark it had left forever. Although his friend was in a different situation, he couldn’t bear to look at his sadness. In his mind he was searching for solutions… “I don’t understand why she would react like this. Maybe it’s something deeper. Perhaps, I will try to talk to Father about her past.”

Ike turned away from the wall and leaned against it, his eyes misty and half-closed. “Just don’t tell him about what I feel for her. I don’t want a lecture on responsibility and risks. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Calm down.  After all, you know I will not say anything. I will never betray your trust.”

He sighed heavily. “I know, I just had to make sure.  I’m nervous about her reaction. She’s probably afraid of me. Like I told you, she doesn’t want a boy like me. Why would she risk it?” His gaze was full of regret.

His listener could not stand it. He rose from his chair and almost groaned. “You are a normal guy with a difficult childhood! You survived, you are not like those drug addicts, I told you!” He looked at him gently although he was boiling with anger.

Ike realized at once what foolishness he had shot at a person who daily reflected on his humanity. “Sorry, man.  I’ve had enough.” The throbbing headache was becoming unbearable. “I need to lie down.” He put his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt and pulled the hood over his head.

“Ok, but I’m not angry. I’m just trying to help you. ” He watched with compassion as his buddy dragged himself to the exit.

Suddenly he stopped. “Thanks. I’m just a jerk.” His lips curved in a slight smile.

Vincent shook his head. “Go! You really need some sleep.”

“Bye. Let me know if you learn anything.”

“For sure. Until tomorrow.”

* * *

A classical guitar, scratched, with two strings broken off lay on his bed. His hand stroked the surfaces of the instrument. Beautiful. I’ll try to get to it tomorrow. Tonight was a disappointment; inside he felt the pain of rejection. However, he remembered what Vincent had said about her tears. Maybe something happened and that’s why she reacted the way she did when I told her how I felt. I naively let myself hope.

He fell heavily on the bed and put his hand on his forehead, wanting to feel relief. Too many sensations, too many expectations. He closed his eyes, dreaming of sleeping long enough so that when he woke up he wouldn’t feel this inner pain. Amy, you swept me off my feet… After a while tiredness took over and he was consumed by sleep.

* * *

The morning had come and Vincent put his plan into action. There was still some time before breakfast, so he ran to the library to talk quietly with Father. He cautiously crossed the threshold and was pleased to see his parent sitting down with tea and reviewing maps. “Father, can I talk to you?”

“Yes, yes, please sit with me. Has something happened?” He looked investigatively at his son, who quickly jumped down the stairs.

The teenager sat in a chair. “I’m just curious about a certain matter.” He pretended nonchalance.

“I’m all ears. What’s going on?” Anxiety and a hint of impatience echoed in the words.

The boy leaned against a chair with his arms crossed. “I wonder about Amy. She is such a secretive and sensitive girl. Could you tell me what made her find herself Below?”

Father squinted as a warning light went off in his head. “And why do you want to know that?”

“Just curious about her past, nothing more.” His face remained emotionless.

For a moment they pushed each other with their eyes.

Finally, Father sighed heavily and put the maps aside  “All right, I’ll tell you, but Amy did not want to go back to those moments.”

His son nodded with increasing curiosity. “Tell me. I won’t talk to her about it.”

“Amy grew up without a father. Her mother found a partner and they lived together.  He sometimes raised his hand to the girl when she did something not as he felt it should be or if she was a few minutes late getting home. Her mother was sickly and frail, and when she died, it got much worse. I only know that her stepfather beat her almost every day. She escaped from that hell and wandered in the streets. It’s good that one of the helpers spotted her, because she could have ended very badly.”

He was a horrified listener, shaking his head and not comprehending how someone could treat her like this. How much evil is there in this world Above? Now her fears became understandable. She was afraid, she had a right to be. You have to give her time, my friend. I’ll have to tell you about it as soon as possible. “It’s sad and terrible what she went through. Thank you for your confidence, Father. Now I understand her caution.” He began to rise from his chair.

His parent felt uneasy that his son had drawn the attention of another girl

He cleared his throat. “Does this girl interest you in any special way?”

The teenager looked with shocked eyes. “She is like a sister to me. You can rest assured I don’t think of her or any other girl in that way.”

“It’s all right.  I’m sorry, but I have to make sure you know what the consequences could be.” He took a sip of tea to swallow his embarrassment.

“How could I ever forget that?” From inside, he was torn by grief because nothing deeper would ever connect him with any girl. Loneliness was still present on the horizon and mocked his dreams. He shook his head. He had to help his friend, and maybe with these words he would give him hope. “I’ll be going. I got a little hungry.” He sent him a gentle smile, “See you later.”

“All right, go! Breakfast is an important meal.” The reassured man returned to studying maps.

“Yes, Father.” His son rolled his eyes as he ran up the stairs.

During breakfast, Vincent noticed that he wasn’t the only person combing the dining room with his gaze. Amy, more silent today than usual, noticed the absence of a certain person. In her hand she held a piece of toast,  and instead of starting to eat, she glanced at the entrance every now and then. Rebecca and Olivia chatted merrily, but their friend looked sadly at her breakfast, losing all appetite.

He had to postpone his conversation with his friend. Today it was his turn to help in the kitchen. Bravely he and his colleagues struggled with the mountain of pots.

Rennie quickly wiped down the dishes, Pascal put them back in their places, and he struggled to hold them in his hands, sometimes rushing mercilessly. The pace was murderous. His colleagues watched his figure in silence. He had to cut off those suspicious glances. “I just want to finish this quickly. You guys probably do, too!” They laughed together and the work went even faster.

Along the way through softly lit corridors, Vincent stretched after his workout in the kitchen, giving his muscles relief. Slowly approaching his destination, he paused in the entrance, watching his buddy lying on his back. His eyes were closed and his breathing seemed calm. He squinted and hesitated to come closer. “Are you sleeping or resting?”

After a while, Ike sensed his presence and opened sad eyes. “I don’t sleep, but I feel powerless today,” he almost whispered.

“Maybe breakfast would help,” Vincent suggested gently.

His buddy shook his head. “I have no appetite. I think I’ll be sick.”

“Sick with love.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Brother, can I help you a little in your suffering?”

“Do you have some miracle cure?” Hope was not heard in his voice.

“I asked Father about Amy.” Those words made his companion sit up straight. “She had a tough past. Her stepfather beat her severely. She ran away.  I think she is afraid.” He immediately noticed how his friend’s eyes took on a sadder expression, and his hands were clenched into fists.

“How can someone do something like that?” Ike was sick to his stomach at the thought.  He understood her perfectly; she had her hell, just as he had broken out of his.

His comrade spread his hands helplessly. “I don’t know. I will never find the answer. What will you do now?” He watched as his friend lay back on the bed and covered himself with a quilt.

“I’ll give her as much time as she needs, but for now it’s hard for me to pretend that it doesn’t hurt that she didn’t trust me. I have to endure this and go back to what it was before. I’m afraid she’s not interested in anything more than friendship. I’m the one who’s crazy about her, and I have to learn how to treat her as just a friend.”

Vincent sighed heavily.  “Don’t lose hope. Maybe time will work in your favor.”

“I want to believe that. Thanks to you I learned more, and it will be a little easier for me to deal with it. Father didn’t ask why you needed to know?”

“Of course, he asked.”

“You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“No, but he suspected that I was the one interested in her.”

“I knew I could count on you.” He sat up again and patted him on the back.

“Always. You’ll see, it’ll be okay.”

 “Now that I have some hope, I think I’m getting a little hungry.” He smiled sadly.

“That’s a good sign. Let’s go, otherwise Father will come here and want to examine you. He certainly noticed your absence at breakfast.”

He shuddered at these words. “OK, I don’t want any examination – just being around needles makes me feel worse.”

Vincent rose from the bed. “So you should hurry.  I’ll wait in the corridor until you change.”

He leaned against the wall in the hallway, his arms crossed over his chest. I did what I could. At least you have hope.  He furrowed his eyebrows and pressed his lips together, the memory of some events were still as fresh as if they had happened yesterday. May you have more luck in matters of the heart than I’ve had…

* * *

Time passed, but nothing changed. Ike and Amy had not spoken to each other since that evening. There were moments when he regretted admitting what he felt at all. He doubted whether it was worth it to be honest; he missed swimming together, walking Above…

Another picnic passed without his presence, and an evening of games without laughing together with friends. It was his deliberate choice because when Amy would be near, he could not pretend to reconcile himself to her refusal.

Only in the company of his closest buddy did he not have to pretend. They willingly immersed themselves in the world of adventure, forgetting about everyday life.

Somewhere inside still smoldered the hope that maybe someday Amy would agree to go out with him, so he helped out at the grocery store for a small salary. Date – a word dreamed of, desired and forbidden at the same time.

The boy still wanted to keep busy, not to think, not to miss. With Winslow’s help, he repaired the abandoned guitar. There were afternoons and evenings when he stayed alone in the chamber, trying to play. The sounds did not have a beautiful timbre, but it was an engaging and healing occupation.

One evening, when Father walked down the hall, the sad melody reached his ears. For a moment, he stood in the entrance, moved and surprised. His gaze looked at the seated figure trying to play.  Pride filled his heart. The boy – or perhaps a young man – studied, worked, wanted to finish night school in the future… and now he had discovered a musical talent within himself.

The leader watched him, his closed eyes, concentration on his face as he absorbed the sounds being played. It was certainly a moment not needing company, so he slowly retreated into the shadows, still overflowing with amazement.

* * *

It’s been going on for so long…Is it longing or remorse? Amy tried to find herself in her own feelings. The girl began to regret that she had not told him about her unpleasant past, and that she’d hidden the unwanted experience with Mitch.  Now her close friend had become a distant acquaintance, withdrawn and thoughtful.  Something had changed in her, and she could no longer accept with calmness when he once again refused to spend time with friends…

* * *

Ike looked at the stars reflected in the Mirror Pool. It’s magic. Here in this place, in addition to the view of the sky, which he could almost touch, he also appreciated the silence.

Since he knew what a difficult past Amy had, he understood her fear. I can’t push her. I can only wait until she sees that I won’t hurt her. He looked at himself. He was tall and regular swimming made him have an athletic body. She is afraid of my strength, yet I would never in my life raise my hand to her. How do I convince her of myself and my feelings?

He sat on the sandy ground, completely resigned. The only violence I could use is against the monster who treated her that way. A heavy sigh failed to quell his raging emotions. But in the end, I would probably restrain myself, not wanting to stoop to his level. He clenched his fists. What a mess.

His eyes were closed and his thoughts revolved around the girl who charmed him so. Her blue eyes, her light brown hair wrapping her petite face, her shapely figure he surreptitiously observed as they swam. The memories had a comforting effect, although they deepened the longing, yet at the same time they gave strength to continue waiting for her to see him as more than just a friend. A gentle smile wandered on his lips. How lovely you are…

“Ike?” A soft voice snapped him out of the land of memories. He slowly opened his eyes and turned his head toward the sound, not believing she was standing there now, so close.

“Hi…” He combed his hand through his hair. “Have you been here long?”

“No, I’ve just come.” She smiled shyly, which made an enticing impression on him, and he had to look away, melting from tenderness.

The atmosphere around them was tense. He heard her take a few steps forward.

“I’m sorry…”

These words he did not expect to hear. He bestowed on her a surprised look..

“I don’t want you to be so depressed. I’m worried about you,” she added after a moment.

Ike closed his eyes tightly. The last thing he wanted from her was pity.

His gaze became sad.  “Amy, don’t apologize to me. I don’t need sympathy.” He knew he was probably exaggerating, exulting in his pride, but he couldn’t do otherwise.

The girl furrowed her brows. “I understand that you’re angry with me right now, but I feel bad about all this. I can see how you’ve changed since we talked last time.”

He got up and started walking. “I’m just trying to come to terms with what you told me.” He took a deep breath. “I understand what you went through. I had a destructive childhood myself, but I thought that since we understood each other, liked each other and were friends, you would give me a chance, that we would try to be more for each other. Now, I…”

He put his hands in his pockets. He lacked words — this conversation cost him a lot. “In a short time I will be the former Ike. I promise.” A slight smile brightened his clouded face.

However, she drew closer and looked at him with those beautiful eyes. Mesmerized, captured by the feeling, he waited…

Amy was grateful that her sad past was not a secret for him. “You know about my past?”

“I know.” He endured looking straight into her eyes. He had avoided being around her for so long, and now she was standing too close. He thought he was going crazy.

She bit her lip. “I haven’t been completely honest with you lately.”

Ike tried not to look at her mouth. “What do you mean?” His gaze focused on her tightly clasped hands.

“It is true that I am afraid, but I know that I should try to trust that not everyone is the same.”

Surprise and hope spread in his heart immediately. He nodded, understanding and feeling that this was not the end of what she wanted to tell him.

“Mitch also offered me something more than friendship.”

He pressed his lips into a narrow line. He overheard my conversation with Vincent and brazenly approached her.

“When I turned him down, he wasn’t very nice.”  She averted her eyes.

Ike clenched his jaw tightly. “Did he do something to you?” He strained the words through his teeth.

“No!” she immediately assured him, “he only used words.” She did not want to provoke violence; if she had told him exactly how their mutual colleague had behaved, he would have talked to him with his fists.

The boy felt his circulation return. “Words also hurt.”

In her mind, she fled to memories when actions did her the most harm. However, she nodded, returning to the here and now.

“Not long after Mitch, you showed up with your question. You spoke to me completely differently, but the fear remained. However, when I turned down your invitation for a date, you reacted in such a way that inside I felt sorry for the words I said. You’re not like Mitch. You had a tough childhood, but you’re a nice guy.”

As he listened to her, he was dizzy with joy. Is it possible that…? It seemed as if his heart would leap out of his chest.

Amy moved closer, and after a moment he felt the gentle touch of her hand. “I like you very much, and I’m sorry, too, that you were so upset because of me.” A shade of pink tinged her cheeks.

You are amazing. He stared at her, stunned. “I can’t believe it…it’s like a dream.”

The whispered words were followed by a wide smile, making her yearn for a kiss. Still holding his hand, she stood on tiptoe to reach his tempting lips. Ike tilted his head, quickening the long-awaited moment. It was gentle, in her rhythm, she wrapped her arms around his neck. He could hear their rapid breaths, her deep sighs…

I am kissing the girl of my dreams. Life is beautiful…