ALTERED EPISODES

by JoAnn Baca

A Hippy Life

Isaac holds exercise classes Below after several members of the community are diagnosed by Father as overweight. William feels Father’s unspoken criticism over his elaborate desserts. Rebellion brews as William declares that an extra layer of fat helps keep a body warmer in winter.

Hyacinths

Spring flowers are causing hay fever in the Tunnel community. Brian enlists other Helpers to provide copious amounts of antihistamines. But hankies remain in short supply Below.

Snacks and Scones

William sets up a tea party for the youngsters Below, but the elders in the community want in on the goodies. A food fight ensues. Who will win?

The Risk is Silence

Mouse REALLY wants to create a particular thing. He thinks it would be neat. But will he face the wrath of the community if it doesn’t work as planned? Even Mouse knows that half his gizmos work…and half don’t.

A Gentle Pain

Catherine begins to feel birth pangs, but is unsure if she should go Below immediately or wait. Mary receives a note with Catherine’s assessment of her situation, asking if she thinks it’s false labor. Mary and Father disagree over how quickly Catherine’s contractions will develop. Will Catherine get Below in time?

Trill

Geoffrey loves Star Trek. He often fantasizes about using a holodeck to pretend to accept a symbiont lifeform inside himself. But who would be his best choice? Each possible scenario plays out in his dreams, a kind of updated “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

Remember Liver

The shopping list William sent to Catherine was filled, but one item was missing. Should he send another note, reminding her of the missing request? The Council argues about it. What else can William do with all the onions he has?

The Quest is Silence

Father searches desperately for a place to read in blessed quiet, but the pipes keep calling for him and community members keep stumbling upon his hiding places. Will he ever achieve his goal?

God Bless the Mild

William’s forays into Mexican cooking produce many dishes too spicy for Mary. She searches in his cookbooks for a recipe that doesn’t call for jalapenos.

A Pappy Life

Father recalls memorable moments from his years raising Devin and Vincent.

A Crappy Life

Vincent “moves on” to give Catherine her freedom to find a relationship with someone Above, and realizes he’s made a baaaad mistake.

An Impossible Sibilance

The children struggle with Father’s insistence that they will enunciate more clearly once they have mastered tongue-twisters like “She sells sea shells by the sea shore”.

Shades of Nay

Catherine teaches a class Below in etiquette, suggesting increasingly forceful but still polite ways of turning down a drink, a date, or a marriage proposal. Lena consistently fails to think of how to say no in every situation.

The Feast Within

Late arriving Helpers who thought they could find the Great Hall on their own make wrong turns galore, hearing the music and laughter of Winterfest but not finding the right staircase to lead them to the doors. Will they get there before all the food is gone?

What Rouged Beast

When the little girls Below want to practice make-up techniques, they enlist their favorite teacher as their guinea pig. Will Vincent ever live it down?

A Distant Shire

Vincent finds proof of his origins…and also learns that a certain book about hobbits may not be entirely make-believe.

Chamber Musings

Vincent contemplates renovating his living quarters. He and Father debate the efficacy of the installation of a solid door. Guess who is for and who is against the idea?

Ara’s Bisque

Newcomer Ara introduces the Tunnel community to a new kind of soup, and the lactose-intolerant among them rebel.

The Witcher

Fantasy novels about monster hunters with superhuman abilities cause the Tunnel community to give the side-eye to the one denizen among them with superhuman abilities. Vincent adopts wearing a broadsword just for fun.

A Fair and Perfect Night

R-rated fan fiction gives Catherine lots of ideas.

Dark Sprite

Kristopher Gentian brings a ghostly pal Below who wreaks havoc during the night. The community awakens to overturned furniture, milk left out to spoil, and general mayhem, leading Vincent to give Kristopher a stern talking-to.

Favor

It’s Edie’s wedding day, and Catherine is in charge of party favors for the guests. Things get uncomfortable for her when a major retailer adores what she’s brought and wants to sell Rebecca’s specially crafted candles in her stores, bugging Catherine mercilessly for the chandler’s telephone number. Will Catherine ever get the pushy retailer off her back?

No Lay Down

Mary can’t get the children to take naps, leading to childish bad behavior that threatens to make Father even grumpier than he already is.

A Happy Leaf

Mouse’s hidden grow-room is discovered by Paracelsus, leading the latter to abandon mushrooms as his cash crop.

A Happy Loaf

Sequel to A Happy Leaf. William’s zucchini bread recipes gets a new ingredient, mellowing Father out so well that the cook is asked by the community to keep Father well-stocked with it.

Sarong of Morpheus

Catherine’s newest lingerie finally gets the result she’s been trying for, as Vincent unwinds it to find the prize within. After a lovely interlude, they fall asleep. Sweet dreams!

Stakes and Stones

The community argues about the best methods for persuading intruders Below to skedaddle.

The Halo Men

Sequel to Stakes and Stone. Religious extremists seek shelter Below, and after hearing them complain about everyone’s shortcomings, the community activates their plan for convincing intruders to skedaddle.

Bothers

Father installs a suggestion box Below, and is overwhelmed by all the picky little complaints he receives.

Premises of Someday

Kanin and Cullen unveil their plans for new chambers Below.

The Bastet Within

Vincent discovers his connection to the Egyptian lion-headed goddess.

To Rain in Hell

The water pipes in Paracelsus’ lair develop a leak…and he must ask for help from the Tunnel community to fix them before the city discovers the break.

To Reign in Heels

Paracelsus discovers his feminine side.

Once Upon a Team

Joe’s got to find enough people in his office who can play softball when he’s challenged by his buddy Greg, whose police team holds the city employees’ title.

When the Bluebird Wings

Rebecca’s parakeet has escaped its cage and is fluttering around in Father’s Library, causing him to get more exercise than he has in years, waving his arms and shooing it off his precious books.

Down to a Sandless Sea

The rocky coast of Maine is the location of a little hideaway Catherine conspires to bring Vincent to. He enjoys himself immensely…while never dipping a toe in the ocean.