ALTERED EPISODES

by Linda S Barth

No Way, Dude!

Father is trippin’! The children’s new obsession with Above-style 80’s slang really barfs him out. So grody! The kids think his complaints are bogus, but can they get him to take a chill pill? As if!

Temptations

Joe is devastated when he discovers the Billy Joel concert is sold out. But Catherine comes to the rescue with tickets for a reunion show featuring his favorite ‘60’s Motown group.

A Children’s Store

Good-bye, Gap Kids! Hasta la vista, H&M! Bye-bye, Babies R Us!  This holiday season everyone will be shopping for unique children’s fashions at Mary’s Toddler to Teen Tunnel Togs Treasure Trove!

A Distant Snore

Cullen’s an expert at sawing wood, but the earth-shattering sounds coming from his workshop every night are keeping the tunnel dwellers awake. When will Peter finally arrive with a supply of Breathe-Right strips?

Promises of Foreplay

Ron Koslow has quit Beauty and the Beast and now the fans are in charge! Tune in tonight to see Episode One of the totally new and improved Third Season Reboot! Forget about swirling roses and lava. You’ll be as happy as Vincent and Catherine when all those frustrating “will they or won’t they” moments finally pay off. (Just make sure the kids are in another room watching Blue’s Clues!)

The Halloween Men

Vincent, Winslow, and Devin are teaming up for a three-man costume surprise for this year’s party. Everyone is wondering what they’ve got planned, especially since the last few Video Nights Below featured South Park, Charlie’s Angels, and a Three Stooges marathon.

Sticks and Scones

It’s International Pastry Week in the tunnels. Will William’s first offerings – Spanish churros and Scottish tea treats – be a hit?

Oz, Wizard Of Us

The tunnel community theatre troupe is staging its own production of a classic tale, but casting is proving to be a big problem. Sure, the Lion is a given; Rebecca is using candle wax to dye her shoes red; and Mouse is certain Arthur will be a great Toto. But what’s going to happen when Winslow and William find out someone else has been cast as the Wizard? (You guessed it – Father’s already firing up his hot air balloon!)

Bluffers

At Tunnel Games Night, a rousing round of “Two Truths and A Lie” takes an unexpected turn when it appears that Mary has revealed a shocking fact from her past. Is she bluffing, or was pole dancing really a thing back in the day?

Skater Music

While YouTube surfing, Catherine and Vincent make a delightfully delicious discovery – Happy Odd Girl’s music video collection. They love them all, but after Lisa’s recent visit, one in particular rocks their world. Boi, talk about art imitating life! They’ll definitely like and subscribe!

Chamber Mistake

Is Vincent’s face red! Nearly asleep on his feet after a long, hard, sweaty day of work, he stumbles into the bathing chamber reserved for overnight guests. How was he to know Catherine was spending the weekend Below? Oh, right – the bond… Well played, Vincent, well played!

To Reign is Hell

Paracelsus has had it!  Evidently everyone thinks it must be easy being a paranoid, sadistic megalomaniac. No one appreciates any of his efforts, so he’s throwing in the crown. But he’s certain he can find another community that will have more respect for his particular skill set.

Promises of Saturday

Joe insists on instituting a six-day work week, his secret plan to get more time with Catherine. He’s certain she’ll finally see him as boyfriend material after all that togetherness! But before he starts making dinner reservations and buying theatre tickets, he’d better take a quick look at some memos on her desk: Call the Municipal Labor Board. Make appointment with HR. Update my resume.

The Algebraist

There’s rebellion brewing in Father’s math class. With her peers rallying around, brave Samantha has demanded he provide proof that algebra is one of those skills they’ll definitely use in the future. Good luck with that one, Father!

Dark Spirits

Tonight’s Tunnel Happy Hour has a tropical theme! Vincent looks amazing in a sarong. Father’s ready to shake his booty in the hula contest. William has been cracking coconuts all week. Kanin is unwrapping those little drink umbrellas. And Cullen and Winslow are about to light the tiki torches. But Catherine, Olivia, Rebecca, and Mary are entirely focused on opening a few cases of Captain Morgan’s finest. After all, girls just wanna have rum!

Snark Spirit

After losing three hundred fifty-seven consecutive games of chess to Vincent, Father’s mood has taken a decidedly snippy turn. Surely he wasn’t referring to his victorious son when he muttered, “Nothing but a conceited, cheating, ungrateful pain in the ar…bum!”

The Trilogy – Starring Mouse:

Bobsled of Winter

It took a lot of work, but the Chamber of the Winter Olympics now has its own race track. First event – the two-person bobsled run! Tunnel dwellers can’t wait for the games to begin, but first Mouse must figure out how to divert an underground stream to ice the track. Good thing he saved several of those drill bits and explosives!

The Outsizer

Mouse’s workshop is overflowing with bales of wire, boxes of nuts and bolts, and bins of things only he can identify. All that clutter is stifling his creativity! The only answer is to widen the workspace. Good thing he still has a few of those drill bits and explosives!

What Rough Blast

Mouse’s heart is in the right place, but let’s hope the rest of his body parts won’t be scattered elsewhere when he creates a private bathing pool as a surprise gift for Vincent and Catherine’s anniversary. Good thing he’ll use up the last of those drill bits and explosives!